Happy Birthday, Brendan!

Dearest Brendan,

It is so very hard to believe you are already 4! It seems like just a few months ago you came home to us a chubby little baby. And now you are turning into a terrific little boy. When did that happen?

These days you are showing us that your brain is always working. We have been watching in wonder and amazement as you learn your numbers, letters, prayers, and one of your recent favorite things – planets. You aren’t all that excited about answering questions when we ask them, but when you feel compelled to spout off your knowledge, it is indeed great.

That is, I believe, one of your defining personality traits. You don’t like to do or say things until you are sure of them. For example, when you were learning to go up and down the stairs, you would NOT attempt to go down them yourself for such a long time. Then, one day, you just did. Same with talking. It took you longer than some to talk, but once you did we were introduced to Brendan Radio: “All Brendan, All the Time!” Even still, if you aren’t sure of a word, you are just quiet as a mouse. This is especially true when asked to speak in front of people you aren’t familiar with.

Another defining characteristic of yours is your absolute boy-ness. And, yes, I KNOW you are a boy! I thought, however, that we could try to avoid placing some of the stereotypes we put onto people based on whether they are boys or girls. We have given you toys of all different kinds from the first day. This includes stuffed animals, Lego's, books, colors, cooking sets, and trucks. And what are you MOST drawn to? Trucks and trains, of course! You don’t really want anything to do with stuffed animals apart from the half-dozen or so you sleep with. Dolls hold no interest at all. Cooking is fun, but not nearly so much as things with wheels! You are also rough and tumble, and you adore getting dirty. For any reason. It is fun to see you develop these preferences in ways that I would never have thought.

In the last year of your life we have been doing so many things and changing everything you know. We have added another little person to our family and moved to another state. We have been trying to do things just for you, like swim lesson, soccer, gymnastics, but it hasn’t always been easy for you. For the most part you have handled all of this with grace. It is only occasionally you end up in the “naughty corner” because you have hit, kicked, pushed, or taken a toy away from your little sister! You haven’t yet figured out that Grammie and Kate don’t live all that close anymore, either. Trying to explain such a long distance is not easy with a 4-year-old!

The best days we have are those where your natural inquisitiveness shine through and you are the sweetest little boy you know how to be. I think this is your true nature and that the less pleasant tantrums, whining, and physical acting out are just because you are coming out of your 3’s. I hope. Your hugs and kisses are so achingly sweet and your laugh is the best sound in the world. I am looking forward to watching you grow and learn so much in this next year. You are amazing and we are blessed you are in our lives.

Love,

Mommy

Brian's family comes to visit...

Over the weekend, Brian’s mom, sister, nephew and Kate came to visit for a couple of days. This was just way cool because it has been a LONG time since we have seen Brian’s sister, Stacey, and we had not gotten a chance to meet her son, Max. Max is just a month older than Sela, and really cute.

They drove from Colorado on Saturday (Stacey lives in Arkansas and got to Denver the day before). We basically had enough time to go to dinner before everyone headed to bed. Sunday we all needed some more rest – especially Stacey and Max who had been doing some hard traveling for a few days! So, Max came to our place to nap while his mommy got some much needed sleep at the hotel. After we were all rested up, we went to play in our complex’s pool. It was the perfect way for us all to relax, play, and spend time with one another – stuff we don’t get to do nearly enough.

Monday was a VERY busy day. We started out by heading to Sears to get our pictures taken. As it was close to Brendan’s 4th birthday we had already planned to get his taken, and this was a super opportunity to get some nifty family photos. The kids did pretty well for having to pose for about an hour!

We had lunch at the mall and then took some naps to get ready for a birthday party in the afternoon. We had decided to have Brendan’s party early while the family was in town, and I am really glad that we did. It was Brendan’s first party with kids, and we did the smartest thing I think we could have: we had it at a park! The kids had a great time playing and running around, the parents got to sit and chat, and the cleanup was a breeze. We are truly blessed to have such wonderful people in our lives.

The next morning we had breakfast with the family at IHOP before they headed back to Colorado. It was really much to short of a visit, but we are SO grateful we got the few days we did. In my ideal world, all of our family would live about an hour’s drive from one another so we could be close enough to visit often, but not so close we get on each other’s nerves! Alas, this is not likely to ever happen, so we cherish the times we do get together, and are ever thankful that we live in an age with email, cell phones, and blogs.

It's Official!

It’s official! Sela’s adoption has been recorded by the state of Utah, and we have a US birth certificate! Now we just have to get her a social security number/card, passport, and, oh yeah, fill out MORE paperwork so the government will recognize her as an honest-to-goodness US citizen. Geez. The paperwork and money outpouring never ends!

At least it looked pretty...

It looks so good! I made this lamb roast and it looked so very yummy that I had to take a picture. It is from the book Jamie’s Dinners. I stuck fresh spears of rosemary – that I am growing! – into this lamb followed by whole cloves of garlic. Stuck right into the meat! How awesome is that? Then there are potatoes, carrots, leeks and onions around it in the pan. Dang it looked good. And then we cooked it. And it made me sick. I think the meat was bad (it had a funny smell, but the butcher SAID it was okay, so we thought we would trust him – big mistake). It was still so beautiful that I had to share it! If I make it again, I will let you know how it turns out…

Andrew's Graduation

There are times in my life that I feel like a chapter in a book is closing with another on the verge of starting. This last week I spent with my family in Northern Idaho because my “baby” brother, Andrew, graduated from high school.

This is a weird thing for me, as I was the one graduating 15 years ago. Has it really been that long?! Hardly seems possible. The event caused me to do a little bit of thinking about what I have accomplished in the last 15 years. In some ways, it certainly isn’t what I thought I SHOULD accomplish in that time, but in others it is so much more. I read once (no, I have no idea where) about a person whose philosophy guided them not to regret the things they did or didn’t do in their life because it made them the person they are today. I really like that train of thought. See, I wanted to be a doctor when I started school. That, apparently, isn’t going to happen. I also had the chance to try to go to the Air Force Academy. Didn’t do that, either. How different my life would be should I have chosen either of those two tracks. However, if I had done that, I would not have met my amazing husband, and we wouldn’t have adopted our two even more amazing kids. Not to mention missing out on all of the fun we have had along the way. So, to me, it seems that wishing you could change the past is a silly thing. You never know the consequences and it just can’t be done anyway. Why waste the time on what might have been? Instead, I would like to focus on what can be done in the future. I want to do more with myself in the next 15 years. I want to be a better mom every day, and I want to contribute more to the world around me. I am working to go back to school to improve my mind, and I try to be the person my husband sees in me. And, one of the things I learned along the way, if I only really worry about doing my best one day at a time, it will be okay.

Enough philosophical stuff and to what we did! To start things off, my step-mom, Elaine, flew down here to help me drive with the kids. Brian used all of his vacation time until next May for a trip to Africa earlier this year. Elaine was great. I have done most of my road trips with Brian, and we are a great team, so I was apprehensive to do this trip with anyone else. It went so much better than expected! We drove up I-15 until about Butte where we take I-90 for the rest of the trip. We even saw snow as we crossed the border from Idaho into Montana at Monida Pass. Snow. In June. The drive took us about 12 hours, and the kids did pretty darn good for being cooped up so long.

We drove on Wednesday. Friday afternoon we went and played with my friend Lesa from high school, her son, her sister, her sister’s kids, and her cousin. We had a blast. If N. Idaho was just a LITTLE (okay, A LOT) more diverse, I would be more compelled to move up there. I had fun, the kids had fun. I took more pictures than should be allowed. Gotta love digital cameras!

Saturday was the graduation. With a few minor technical difficulties, it went off pretty well. Afterwards, my parents hosted a party for the graduation and 18th birthday that would follow on Monday. Some family and friends showed up for a windy, yet fun time. My grandmother made the cake – she does really nice decorating work, and a friend of the family brought Andrew’s favorite homemade salsa.

On Monday, my sister, Christina, treated the family to a day at the local amusement park, Silverwood. We rode an old steam train, the ferris wheel, water boats, and the Tilt-a-Whirl. Brendan got to ride several rides all by himself – and even “drove” a car with mommy as a passenger! We also had lunch at one of the restaurants and enjoyed some hot drinks before heading home. Brendan was so tired on the way home that he fell asleep with a pretzel hanging out of his mouth.

Wednesday we headed home, with Elaine as my co-pilot again. The weather was nicer on the drive home, so we stopped a little more. Again, I was really impressed with how well the kids actually did on such a long trip. Elaine hung out with us for a day before flying home on Friday. It was a great trip. I always love getting to visit with my family and spending time in the beautiful area where they live.

Visit from Nana & Susy

Two of my favorite people just got to come visit us here in Utah, and are the first of my family to meet Sela. My Nana and Auntie Susy live in California, and we haven’t gotten to see them for a few years now.

They flew in the weekend before Memorial Day and stayed with us for the week. It was a tight fit in our small apartment, but totally worth it! Even when Nana snored loud enough to shake the windows. ;) They brought way too many gifts for the kids, but that is just how they are. Nana and Susy may not be materially rich, but they have more love to give than most other people I know. They have quite a bit of sass, too, to keep it interesting.

While they were here we did a lot of playing, went to the park a time or two. We also took a trip up to Park City to get some souvenirs from the Wasatch Brew Pub. Susy liked the beer they make called Polygamy Porter. The slogan is “Bring some home to the wives.” Irreverent humor, gotta love it!

Another day we took the kids’ wagon and walked to the Home Depot next door. I wanted to plant some flowers, herbs and tomatoes, but am fairly clueless about such things. I figured I would take advantage of having Nana and Susy here as they both grow things. We loaded up that wagon and then had to haul all the stuff up to our third floor. Ugh. The next day Brendan and I planted while Susy and Nana supervised. It was a lot of fun to see it come together. I’ll post updated pictures of how the plants are doing, assuming, of course, that they actually survive.

We also took everyone to the zoo, which was nifty, too. Sela put on some movie-star glam and

Brendan got to ride the train. The zoo had a new exhibit of a white alligator, “Ghost of the Bayou,” that was pretty creepy to look at. They aren’t albino, but have a genetic defect. Apparently there are only about 10 of them in the world right now. Then we walked all over the zoo until we were ready to collapse.

All in all, we had a great time with these two dear people. I am truly blessed that they are part of my family and my life. And that they actually put up with me is a HUGE bonus!

Potty Trained!

Without too much ado, Brendan is finally potty trained – mostly.

Starting March 13th, during the Fast (was this a wise choice?), Brendan stopped using day-time diapers and pull-ups. Well, actually, I told him that I wasn’t going to actually BUY anymore pull-ups, so his choices were big-boy underpants (we have Thomas the Tank-Engine, Diego, Elmo, Bob the Builder, and Cars underpants) or really cheap (the cheapest I could find) diapers. He chose the underpants, go figure! We had a few accidents in the beginning (only 1 or 2 have been more than pee-pee), but now we are just correcting the occasional technical (read: aiming) issue. We have even gone on a 5-hour car ride with no problems!

We have had one funny incident so far. Brendan still needs some assistance (or thinks he does) with getting his pants back up after the deed is done. This NORMALLY isn’t a problem. Unless you are in a house FULL of people you don’t know (98% Persian) for Ridvan (Bahá’í holy day), and Brendan comes into the room with his pants (under and regular) around his ankles, calling “Mommy! Need help!” in an unnecessarily loud voice. Embarrassed isn’t the word to describe how I felt. Helpfully, many of these people are parents, and were understanding.

I cannot tell you how pleased I am by this result of this experience. I thought for sure I would have the world’s first teenager in pull-ups. And after his potty-training experiment, I am committed to getting Sela trained before she is two (famous last words!), and I will NOT be using pull-ups again. For now, I am just happy as a bug in a rug with the things Brendan is learning. And I am also happily sticking my head in the sand about the issue of night-time potty issues.

No more house

Our house in Colorado has finally sold. We actually closed yesterday. I wish I could be more happy, but I am still reeling from the fleecing we took. I know in my heart of hearts (Brian, too) that we are better off for not having this house anymore, but the way things went down were painful. I won’t bore you with the details, but we have wondered if we are too nice and/or just plain expect too much.

Soccer Mom!

Yes, I have officially joined the ranks as a Soccer Mom! And I couldn’t be more frustrated and overjoyed at the same time.

Overjoyed because Brendan is starting to become a part of groups of adorable kids working together to accomplish a goal. Literally. Even if they don’t really know which goal is theirs. At this age level (all 3 and 4 year olds) there isn’t a goalie, and absolutely every goal is celebrated – regardless of which team scored it. And they don’t keep score. These little troopers are just out there having a great time together. It’s awesome.


Frustrated though? Our son, the kid who has more balls than a carnival game alley, cried the first game. And the second. Because he didn’t want to go play. Are you kidding me with this?!?! He CLUNG to my legs in tears and flat-out refused to play, almost the entire first game. We even called Grammie in Denver to see if she could get him to go and play. Nope. The coach, bless her heart, kept trying to get him interested, and finally convinced him to just stand by her – with about 10 minutes left of the whole game. After that, he was much more amenable to heading out and got couple of minutes of game time in.


The second game, we decided to hype it up A LOT. We showed him his own smile in all of the pictures we took. Do you smile when you have fun? Yes! Do you smile when you aren’t having fun? No! So, you had fun playing soccer? Yes! And you are going to have SO much fun playing again? No! Ugh. He did go with the coach straight off for the second game, though, and even made the starting kick. He played a great deal of the game – except when he took a rest and tried to take a ton of pictures with our camera.


Hopefully, the third and subsequent games will go much easier now. The most frustrating part is that we, his crazy parents, KNEW he would have the best time once he actually started to play. Which he did. Too bad, we couldn’t convince him we were right. Man, I thought that attitude didn’t start until they were teenagers. Sheesh.

Happy Birthday, Little One

Dearest Sela,

You just turned 1. Already. You haven’t been home with us for even 3 months yet, but what an experience it has been so far.

When we picked you up, you weren’t even sitting up by yourself. Now you are crawling, albeit on your belly, all over the place. You have started to get up on your knees and elbows and hands with a little assistance. If we give you some support you are able to stand for a little while. It is incredible to watch you learn these new skills.

I don’t know that you have a favorite toy yet. Mostly, you like to get at whatever Brendan has and most likely doesn’t want you to have. The funniest part of this is that he wants to play with all of your toys. Go figure.

So far, you are game to try most foods. When we first gave you Cheerios – the toddler staple – you gagged on it with messy results. So, we backtracked and gave you rice puffs for a while. Once you got the hang of those, we tried Cheerios again with great success. Now, those are just too boring for you. And why not? It certainly isn’t what the rest of the family is eating for pete’s sake! We haven’t introduced a few foods that are more prone to causing allergies, but we are hopefully that will go smoothly. I mean, who can live without peanut butter and strawberries? (I know there are those out there who do, but my life would just not be as joyful without those two things!)

Your personality is oh, so much different than Brendan’s. You are fussy, particular, funny and happy. When some slight is thrust upon you (usually Mommy or Daddy taking away something you shouldn’t have or Brendan taking away something he wants) you can howl with the best of them. If you take a tumble or get bumped or scared in any way you can let loose then, too. Thankfully for us, you are also easily consolable, for the most part. Usually we can pick you up or distract you and the tears will stop. On the days you aren’t cutting teeth and your brother isn’t picking on you too much, you are just way too much fun. Your smile can brighten a sunlit day. And your laugh is different than any other little kids I have heard, but it is no less infectious. I think if they could bottle baby/toddler laughter it would solve a lot of the world’s anger. Then you have this – look. You lower your chin, furrow your brow and give a stern look that could stop the antics of the naughtiest of kids. Then you usually put your chin up and laugh because you did something really funny. Oh, and being naked? THAT is the absolute best, in your opinion.

We happen to think you are pretty dang smart, too. You know how to smile and flirt to get people to give you what you want. You have already started to make a couple of signs (“more”, “milk” and “please”), though not all the time. You are an expert at maneuvering yourself to get EXACTLY what you shouldn’t have.

While we have changed a lot in your little life thus far, we are hoping the coming year will settle down. We have a nice place to live, Daddy has a job that keeps him from traveling too terribly much, and hopefully your big brother will continue getting used to the idea of actually being a big brother. All in all, we are blessed to have you in our lives, and we couldn’t be happier.

Much love,

Mommy & Daddy

Lessons on Moving

With the majority of boxes finally unpacked, I thought I would sit down to write about our adventures in moving. There is little that fills me with as much trepidation as moving, though I have done it more times in my life than I have fingers on both hands. Possibly more times than I have fingers AND toes. I lost count a while back. So, what have I learned from this lifetime of mobility? Apparently, not enough as I keep learning lessons each time. And the Lord knows I have more moves in me yet. Oh, joy and rapture!

Packing your own house into boxes is a GREAT time throw away lots of junk you have collected.
Having someone else pack is MUCH faster!
When you finally get to the unpacking, make sure to check all pieces of packing paper and in many nooks and crannies for thing that might have been smuggled into places they shouldn’t oughta be. (Brian and I “lost” some kitchen items during one move. The new place had a built-in microwave above the stove, so we never bothered to unpack our old one. That Christmas, 7 months later, we decided to give the “old” microwave to someone who needed an upgrade. When we opened the microwave to make sure it was cleaned and fit for giving, voila! Kitchen items rediscovered.)
The absolute best bit of information we have learned moving came during this most recent move: HIRE PEOPLE. There have been times that we could not have afforded to hire an entire moving company were it not paid for by someone else (military or other employer). Okay, we probably never could afford to hire an entire moving company. However, what we did learn is that you can hire these really great people who call themselves Lumpers. These truly wonderful people can save a person. These are the hard-working folks that move all the packed boxes and furniture onto the moving truck and then off of the moving truck into your new abode. And they will move it to and from a truck you have rented and propose to drive – it doesn’t have to be a moving company truck! This is INCREDIBLE! Lumpers do not make a ton of money, but it is worth every penny. (The charge about $15 and hour for a minimum of 4 hours. Our driver paid our Lumpers $110 each for about 6 or 7 hours of work.) Gone are the days%

Adoption Issues

Tidbit: There are 1.6 million households in the US with adopted children .

I am trying to educate myself so that I may be a better parent. In addition to “normal” parenting, Brian and I have the added “complication” of attempting to help our children connect as much as possible with their birth cultures.

On the one hand, this has some elements that are easy: cook food from their countries, read books with them, decorate with items from their birth countries. On another, it is a daunting task. How do we do justice to these children of the world when we are so dang White?

One thing I have already noticed is that people seem to already make the assumption that Brendan was born in Asia, but they are more surprised to learn that Sela is from Africa. And that brings up another challenge. Our kids are American kids, very clearly so. Yet, they have roots that most American kids don’t. For Sela in particular, I think this is going to be interesting. She will have one foot in African culture, but will also be able to plant the other in African-American culture – a completely different thing.

In an effort to begin my education, I picked up an Ebony magazine. One of the first things I read was the message from the editor – a message that addressed the issue of adoption! The editor did a wonderful job of showing two sides of an issue that is, as I see it, only going to keep growing. There are people who point to the fact that there are “tons” of Black kids in the US foster care system. From the other side of this issue is that there are thousands of orphans in Africa who also need loving families. (There is another issue of transracial adoption that I don’t even want to begin to delve into at this point.)

Decisions made during the adoption process are very personal to each person that makes them. While the stories all tend to have a similar theme, each is also very unique. And I can’t emphasize how personal it is. Many people who adopt love to tell the story of how their little one (or ones) came into their lives. Some don’t. And I would venture to say that not a single adoptive parent WANTS to be criticized for their decisions. And by questioning why certain choices were made is a somewhat subtle form of hurtful criticism. So, when I hear of people who are upset that people choose to adopt from Africa instead of choosing to adopt within the US, it pains me greatly.

In an effort to better educate myself on this issue, I decided to do some research. I want to understand the plight that upsets people so much.

The US Department of Health and Human Services has published a preliminary report on the Adoption and Foster Care system for FY 2005. As of September 30, 2005, there were about 513,00 children in foster care. 14% of foster kids are “in the system” for 5 years or more. They are almost evenly split between boys and girls. The largest group is White-Non Hispanic at 41% of kids. The next largest group (32%) is Black. Of these kids, 114,000 are “available” for adoption. 40% of these kids are White, 36% Black. 49% are 5 years old and older. Kids 15 and older are in a category to be emancipated rather than adopted. (To see this report go to http://www.acf.dhhs.gov/programs/cb/stats_research/afcars/tar/report13.htm)

In contrast, there are between 2 and 6 MILLION orphans in Ethiopia alone. In 2003, UNICEF reported that there were 11 million orphans in Africa, with the “worse…yet to come.” Half of these children are between 10 and 14 years old. “The orphan crisis in sub-Saharan Africa will worsen dramatically in the coming years. By 2010, there will be approximately 20 million children in sub-Saharan Africa who have lost at least one parent to HIV/AIDS, bringing the total number of orphans in the region to 42 million.” (http://www.unicef.org/media/media_16313.html)

These numbers aren’t to say that I think kids in the US don’t need adoption. EVERY child deserves a loving family. And every family who decides to adopt does so for their own reasons and with their own choices. To top it off, I have a firm belief that the children that end up in our homes are the ones God intended to be there all along. So my kids aren’t my birth children. They couldn’t be more “my” kids if they were.

While I am on my soap box, I have one other thing I want to briefly get off of my chest. I know people who are reluctant to adopt because they are afraid the kids will have emotional issues or unknown health problems. What is funny about this is that there are no guarantees with birth children, either! All I feel I can do as a parent is try every day to do right by my kids. If I mess up one day (which I do), then I vow to do better the next day. Are my kids going to have some identity (and maybe abandonment) issues to work out because they are adopted, don’t look like most people they know, and have not been raised where they were born? It is very likely. But those issues aren’t ones that can’t be worked on. They aren’t issues Brian and I aren’t going to do everything we can to help them with. (Which is why I picked up an Ebony magazine!) And maybe, just maybe, it will make us a stronger family when we deal with our children’s hurts and pains.

Okay, I will step off now. I have been thinking about these things for quite a while and am happy I could share the information. It may not change worlds, but maybe it will help me help my kids.

Much love,

Lori

Amateur Poetry Hour

I sometimes think that my most profound thoughts come just as I am falling asleep. I don’t know if this is because I am dropping my guard at that moment so my thoughts can run to places my conscious mind won’t allow. Or maybe it is simply that I am not fully aware and discerning, so what SEEM like great thoughts are not really. In any case, I usually keep a small pad of paper and pen right by my bed for just these rare moments. But wouldn’t ya’ know, while we are still in a transient state here in Utah I have yet to do that, and NOW is when I have one of those moments. The thoughts occurred to me a few nights ago in the form of a poem about Sela, and I am just now getting around to trying to recreate what came so easily the other night. Needless to say, I am not truly happy with the results, but I wanted to share the poem anyway. I hope it at least conveys my feelings a little bit – even though I will admit right here and now that I am NO poet. So, cut me a little slack….

She is full of spirit
Haunted by sorrow
Alive with possibility
She is Africa

She is tender
Yet also strong
She is vulnerable and impenetrable
She is a woman of tomorrow

Full of surprises
Known only to herself
A blessing to the world
She is a child of God

Unexpected
Breaking boundaries
Challenging minds
She is the future

Willful and kind
Gentle and precious
Mischievous and curious
She is human

She is beautiful beyond my dreams
She is a gift beyond any value
She is amazing beyond my understanding
She is my daughter

Settling down in Utah

Almost two months after getting back from Africa, I am finally adding a new entry!

Brendan is excited that the snow has melted enough he can go play outside. In fact, when he wakes up from his nap today we are going to go test out a new soccer ball! He has also started swimming lessons, which he LOVES. We also added the planetarium to the places we have a membership. They have a really cool “sculpture” that is called “Newton’s Daydream.” “The two-story tall sculpture combines an intricate maze of moving balls with bells, drums and other noisemaking obstacles to create a whirring visual and auditory palette.” We also watched a short movie in the dome theater – it almost made ME motion sick and I don’t usually have a problem! Brendan loved it, Sela did not.



Sela is growing and turning out to be quite a little princess. Which one you might ask? You remember the story about the princess and the pea?!?! THAT one. :) She is getting a little better about not letting every little discomfort (like her big brother patting her on the head) set her off, but she is still pretty sensitive. Funny how even non-birth siblings are SO different. Sela isn't crawling yet, either, but is certainly making motions in that direction. Until then, she is simply rolling around to get where she wants. Which usually means to get a toy that her brother does NOT want her to have (trains, cars, books). Won't he be in for it when she really does start to crawl, and then walk!!!


As for sleep, well, some nights are better than others. MOST nights Sela will sleep from 8 to around 4 or 5, will drink a bottle, and head right back to sleep for a few hours. Occasionally, though, she will wake up 2-3 times a night. (This usually happens on the nights we need sleep the most, of course!) Her big brother isn't really helping matters by waking up himself 2-3 times a night. If they would coordinate their waking up so it occurred at the same time, mommy and daddy might not go insane. Only time will tell!

As for Utah itself, it is really pretty here, and they are SO family oriented. I have also talked with a few different multi-cultural families, but haven't really connected with too many just yet. I am hoping that by started to get more involved with kid activities (swimming lessons, Children's Museum, etc.) that we will make some connections along the way. What I don't think is going to change is the looks we get when we go anywhere as a family. It really cracks me up to see people doing a serious double take, looking hard at both of our kids and then looking hard at both of us. Quite amusing.

Right now is also a time of fasting for Baha’is. It has been a challenge, especially for Brian as he has been working 12 hours days to get one of his tools up and running. I think, however, that I am actually really enjoying this Fast more than any before. (This is only our 4th year of doing it.) One of my friends says that she likes to dedicate her Fast to something and shared a story on her own blog about a friend she dedicated it to one year. It is a really touching and powerful story. And I really like the idea of using this time to focus on something important. So, I am adopting her idea and have been saying a special prayer for assistance (Tablet of Ahmad for my Baha’i friends). This prayer has an added benefit of reminding me of yet another friend who would say this prayer at a difficult time in her own life. So, every day not only am I saying this wonderful prayer which helps to alleviate some of my stress (living in a new place, being away from family & friends, house not selling), I get to be reminded that while the people I love may not be physically close, they are still really close in my heart.

Love,

Lori

P.S. After I began this entry, we (the whole family!), went to play in the park. We had a great time. The pictures are from swimming lessons and the park.

Day 12 - Going Home

Ethiopian Trip Blog Day 12

Going Home

The flight from Addis to Frankfurt was uneventful, if a little long. We were delayed somewhat getting off the ground and stopped again in Khartoum, but we got to Frankfurt easily on time and took busses to the Main Terminal. We said our good-byes to Tom at this point as his flight left in two hours and ours in seven hours. One thing we had to do was to find some more formula as we made a slight miscalculation and did not bring enough. Whoops.

We walked around a little bit and found a spot for Lori to sit with Sela while I went and found some formula. I had only one idea of where to get it, and that was outside security and Immigration. I entered Germany once again (for the 4th or 5th time in less than a month with my 4-day unintended stopover in December) and made my way toward the shop I thought might have formula.

When I got there, I found that they did not, in fact, sell baby formula. This fact made me really nervous because we would need it for sure during the next 16 hours of waiting and flying. As I walking around, worried, I saw a sign for a pharmacy. They would have formula for sure!! For those of you who have been overseas…well, they do things a little different and sell things in odd places. Not that your average Walgreens or Rite-Aid would not have formula, but most people probably get it at Target, K-Mart, Walmart or Babies’R’Us. Anyway, the pharmacy would not open for about 20 minutes, so I walked around some more, feeling much better about things.

The pharmacy opened promptly at 7AM and I went in and talked to the tech. He sold me some 5-month plus formula and I re-entered Germany, went through security and then found Lori and Sela again. I showed Lori the formula and she seemed very happy about it. We then walked toward the final security to get to the US departure gates and were told that we were too early. I said we were going to the Business Class lounge and they let us through. RHIP.

In the lounge we found seats, the best in the house based on the number of people who kept coming by and looking at them, and set up to wait. About 9 IT happened. I rushed to the little boys’ room and kept going back and regular intervals. It was not pretty. Lori had to visit the little girls’ room a couple of times but not as many as me. I kept having to visit on the plane, too, after it took off. At one point I feel asleep and Lori said I lost all color in my face. Lori said later that she was really concerned about me at this time. After I woke up, I felt a little better but not great. The feeling did not stop.

At DIA, we got to Immigration and gave the guy our packet. He stamped Lori and my passports and took the packet to a room we had never seen before. We waited there for what seemed like an eternity until the lady helped us, but it was probably only about 15 minutes. She helped us, told us what to expect and stamped Sela’s passport. Then we left and went outside to the baggage belts to find our luggage. Once we had it, we went outside to find Brendan, my mom and Kate waiting for us. As planned, we gave Sela to my mom to hold and then held Brendan for a while. Eventually, we found our way to the exit (after another trip for me…) and left the airport. On the way out, it was decided that Lori would ride with Kate, Brendan and Sela in our car and that my mom would take me to the hospital to get checked out. Yes, the hospital. I spent a good part of my first night home at the hospital. Luckily, nothing serious was wrong, no strange (or not strange) African diseases, just a bug that I picked up somewhere. Not much fun, but not dangerous, either. After the hospital, I finally went home and got to sleep in my own bed.

Day 11 - Timkat and our last day in Ethiopia

Ethiopian Trip Day 11 Blog

Timkat and our last day in Ethiopia

We started the day early, getting up at 6am so we could shower and be ready to eat at 7am so we could be downstairs to be picked up at 7:30 by Mulat for the Timkat celebration. Timkat, for those who do not know, is the Ethiopian Celebration of Epiphany, which is Christ’s Baptism.

During this celebration, which is held in most every city in Ethiopia, people gather to hear sermons, renew their baptism, dance, pray and just have fun. From what we have heard, Addis Ababa is the second best place to experience Timkat behind only Gondor, a city in the north that is supposed to be THE resting place for the Ark of the Covenant (contains the tablets of The Ten Commandments and Aaron’s Rod among other things). The story is thus: the Queen of Sheba was given the Ark for safe keeping and she had it moved to a Church in Gondor. The Church is inhabited full-time by only one priest, whose sole job is the guard the Ark. He is not allowed to speak to anyone nor anyone to him. Food is left on a tray outside the church and the priest takes it. When he stops taking it, it is assumed he has passed and the next priest in line is called to guard the Ark. No mortal may look at the Ark or they will be turned into a pillar of fire. Now, each Church in Ethiopia has its own replica of The Ark of the Covenant and these are taken to a central location each year on Timkat.

The celebration begins early in the morning, much earlier than when we got there and parking is a mess around the grounds. It is probably a good thing that most everyone walks to the Festival. We found a place to park and made our way inside the gates. At first, it looked like there were a lot of people and there probably were, but it was nothing compared to what we experienced later.

We started making our way toward a building which was broadcasting messages and had people on the roof, filming everything. We went around to the left of the building and got caught up in the crush of the people. I am talking Times’ Square New Years Eve crush of people. We were told to only bring a camera, as small as possible, no money, no wallet and no passport. Now I can see why. Everywhere we looked, there were people in either white or bright colors. Every church had its own color scheme and usually a drummer. Each church did its own dance, I think, but we were not there early enough to see them all. There was also one section where guys with hoses were baptizing people. We kind of guessed this was merely a symbolic baptism, but it was pretty fun to watch. Most of the happenings were taking place in a central area that was roped off from the crowd. We weren’t sure exactly why (we were told because we had never been to Ethiopia before?) but we were given special access to this inner area and were allowed to take pictures of everything. We took a ton of pictures in here and watched the dances. After a while, the talking finished and all of the Ark replicas moved off towards one corner of the field. Mulat said it was time to go so we went.

Here is a short video of some of the singing at Timkat.

We finally all made it back to the truck and headed towards one of the churches in town. Mulat said we could go inside, so most of our group did just that. After they came back outside, Mulat said that we could wait for the Ark that belonged to that church to show up. We listened to a story of something or other, it was all in Amharic, and so we did not understand. But the priest was very passionate about it, so it must have been a good story. Finally, the Ark showed up and there were more speeches and then the Ark went back inside the church and we left.

Back at Horizon House, we said HI to Sela, had some lunch of Ethiopian food and waited for the Coffee Ceremony. Oh, and Brian fixed the pants he ripped in Frankfurt on the way here. We passed the time talking to our new friends and we took a short nap.

The Coffee Ceremony

The Coffee Ceremony was very moving. In general, the Coffee Ceremony is something that is done as a regular part of Ethiopian culture. They roast green coffee beans and then take the roasting container around so everyone can smell the roasted beans. Then the beans are ground up and the coffee made. When it is done, it is served in small coffee cups with sugar, if you want.

For this Ceremony, all of the infants who are going home go with their parents to the older children’s home just around the corner. All of the older children get to participate. We spent the first little bit, waiting for Dr. Tsegaye, just talking and watching the kids. The nannies and other staff took this opportunity to spend as much time as possible with the kids who would be going to their new homes. When Dr. Tsegaye arrived, things got a bit more organized while he said a few words. The things I remember he said include:

Children are a gift from God – whether through birth or adoption
The children end up in the family they were meant to have – many often share a characteristic, birthday, or other special quality with someone in their new family – and this is not by human design!
There are 5 million orphans in Ethiopia alone, 2 million of which have HIV/AIDS

One of the women who helped start the Ethiopia program through Wide Horizons happened to be visiting during our time and she then said a few things. One of the things that struck me the most is that when the program finally got off the ground (after several setbacks) 5 or so years ago, their goal was to get 25 families a year to adopt from this country. Our group was the 32nd group of families to come through and there were 9 of us in that one alone. Two more groups have already been scheduled before the end of February. The expectations have far been exceeded.

We then all received our packets for immigration. Actually, one packet was a sealed one with documents for immigration. We were not allowed to open these under any circumstances or risk not being able to bring our children into the United States. A second packet contained a copy of all those same documents – actual court documents of adoption from the Ethiopian courts, vaccination records, birth certificate and passport with visa. Really cool and important stuff. Mind you, I had already been crying a good deal by this point.

After all of the parents received these packets one of the moms cut a cake for us. Brian thinks the lady who was chosen was the oldest person in the room, but that can neither be confirmed nor denied. The cake was kind of just like a slightly sweet bread. It was really yummy. We were then actually given our coffee and some popcorn and more socializing ensued.

The other thing that happened at this point was that the older kids and nannies started to sing and dance with the babies and other children who would be leaving. This is a VERY emotional time for everyone. The caregivers and other staff are so very loving and kind that they are attached to each of these dear children. So, they are terribly sad to see them go. Yet, at the same time, these same people are overjoyed to know that these dear ones will be with families and are embarking on a new life and journey full of hope and promise. Really hard not to get TOTALLY choked up. During one of the songs/dances, Sela was being held by Solomon and in the middle of the action. I asked one of the women what was being sung. She said that the words were “I’m not going to say God can’t, because I’ve seen that he can.” They sing it to the babies because their lives have been saved by God. I completely lost it. It is actually more than a week later and I am crying as I write this. Dang.

After things wound down, we walked back to the guest house for supper. After supper, we said our good-byes to most of the group and loaded the van with all of our stuff. We were joined by our friend Thom and his daughter as we headed to the airport.

Many people we talked with at the adoption agency said when they traveled to Ethiopia they were changed by it. I understood that, but it isn’t something I actually internalized until our own trip. I left a piece of my heart in the little clearing where Sela was born. I can’t look around at the richness of our country without thinking about the extreme poverty that others in this world live with every day. I can’t think about how easily we can get things like groceries, water, health care, clean facilities, and the list goes one, without thinking about the people who work for $10 (US dollars) a month. I am not sure exactly how this will affect the way I live, but I know that it has to. I can’t let it not. At the same time, when I think about Ethiopia, I also see a land that is full of beauty and teeming with wildlife. I remember the people who are so proud and open-hearted with smiles on their faces just to see you. I am awed by the rich cultural history that is a part of the history of all people. What an incredible place, what an amazing journey.

Day 10 - Rest Day

Ethiopia Trip Day 10

Rest Day

Today we did a whole lot of nothing. Sela spent the night with us, and she was up every 2-3 hours for food. We all got up about 7:30 and Lori and I showered and we all went up for breakfast.

Lori then suggested that we pack. So, after some discussion of what to leave out and carry-on and what to pack where, we started. I won’t bore you to tears with all the gory details (you can all thank me later) but I will say that when we arrived in Addis Ababa, we had 2 large hard side suitcases, 1 rolling duffel bag and one backpack as checked luggage. Our carry-ons were another backpack, my computer case, our camera case and a rolling bag with our clothes from Germany. Leaving Addis Ababa, we would check both large hard-sides, the rolling bag and a backpack. Our carry-ons were a backpack for Lori and my stuff, a backpack with Sela’s stuff, our camera case and my computer bag. We left with less than we came with, mostly because of the generosity of our friends who gave us so many donations for Horizon House.



That night, about 5:30, we went down-stairs to find a snack and wait for Gail Amare to pick us up for Feast. Gail arrived about 6:10 and off we went. Upon arriving at Feast, we were introduced to pretty much everyone there, including the Chairman of the NSA of Ethiopia. They held a by-election first and then came Devotions. Most of the readings were in Amharic, so I did not understand a word of them, but they were still beautiful. Gail read one in English and so did one other gentleman. After Devotions came the business section and they all talked about Devotional gatherings and such and study circles that were either on-going or in need of tutors. It was during this part that we left because Gail had a conference call for work and Sela was getting fussy.

When we got back to the hotel, we found a message on our phone that the remainder of the people at Horizon House were going to have dinner at the hotel tonight and we could join them if we wished. The message was only about 40 minutes earlier, so we headed downstairs and had dinner and conversation with Tom, Stu, Holly, Nick, Marianne and Troy. It was a great way to end the day.

Day 9 - Shopping and Museum

Ethiopia Trip Day 9

Shopping and Museum

Brian here – I am writing this in the Frankfurt Airport while Lori holds Sela, who is fast asleep. We are waiting for our final plane, the one that will take us home to Denver. Today’s blog is not about our trip home, it is about the day we spent after the Embassy. So, without further adieu, let me start the telling.

If you recall (that is, if we wrote it) from last night, we had made tentative plans to go shopping today. Lori and I woke up fairly late, probably around 7:00 or so and showered. Then we called Mulat and asked him the plan. He said that if there was room, we could go with the main car to the shopping at around 9am. If there was not enough room, he would call Yonus, another driver, to take us to meet there. So Lori and I went upstairs to eat breakfast and then went downstairs to meet the group.

We found several members of our group in the lobby of the hotel; some of them had to change money. We learned that there would be enough room in the van for us, so after a short while we went out, got in the van and left.

The first shopping center is nothing to really write about, it was essentially a mall with four or five levels. There were some shops selling Ethiopian handicrafts, and the prices seemed pretty good, but we decided to wait and buy at the bargain area, where we went next.

The bargain shopping area is just a line a shops selling stuff. No prices are marked on anything, so bargaining is possible. Lori and I bought a whole lot of stuff to give to friends and family, trying to bargain along the way. I pretty much stink at it, but later in the day I did manage to get a good deal on a Manchester United jersey with Ronaldo on the back with his number. There were a good number of people begging around this area, probably because there were also a number of Western-looking faces.

We left the shopping area after only one hour; believe me, we could not have taken any more of it, and headed back to Horizon House for lunch. Lori and I learned that the group was going to at least one of the museums in the city after lunch and up the mountain and to a place to buy coffee. We decided to stick with them since we really did not have other plans.

After lunch, we decided (the group, that is) to only hit one museum, but that it should be the one with “Lucy” in it. Lucy is the name of the skeleton of the oldest known human fossil. This exhibit is located at the National Museum in Addis Ababa, since Lucy was found in Ethiopia. In order to get into the Museum, we had to be searched, which wasn’t a really big deal. Then Mulat told us to go in and he would meet us later, he had to get gas for the van.

The entrance fee for the Museum is 10 Birr. For those of you not current on exchange rates, that is about $1.11. Pretty inexpensive to see the skeleton of the oldest known human, if you ask me. The ground floor of the museum is dedicated to the garments and trappings of some of the emperors of Ethiopia. The basement houses the fossils and other ancient artifacts. To get to Lucy, you have to walk past every other fossil and exhibit in the place. Which makes sense, since Lucy is the big attraction here. I would have to admit, though, that one skeleton we saw, which was probably a 2.5ft diameter spheroid, was also very impressive. Just to think about the size of the animal this thing came out of…amazing. There are also other fossils from some dangerous-looking creatures three times the size of a man.

When you first walk into the room with Lucy, the first thing you see is her standing up. Not that her skeleton is really standing up, but scientists have pieced together what was left and what the rest would look like to make a standing skeleton. At first glance, she is about as tall as I am…until you realize that the case she is in is standing on about a 2 foot pedestal. I took some pictures of Lucy, no flash allowed, so they are not great, and we looked around the room at the rest of the explanations. The whole room has only to do with Lucy, so after looking, we moved on.

The first floor (the first above the ground) is dedicated to art, both old and new. A couple of the pieces were very striking, so I took some pictures of these. The top floor of the museum contains exhibits of old religious artifacts and games and section dedicated to the greatest runner in Ethiopian history, Haile. Of note on this floor, I thought, were the hand carved Mancala game, the Quran and the Bible. Normally, a Quran and a Bible would not attract attention, but there were hand-written on goat-skin paper. Two rather long books, hand written. Both were stunning articles. After looking around the top floor, we left the museum and Lori shared some thoughts after we went outside.

She felt it was heartbreaking to see these items: the skeleton of the oldest human found, some of the other ancient items from a country which has played a part in world history for millions of years, kept in a building that is somewhat shabby compared to some other great museums we have seen. What just a little bit of money could do…but is it more important than survival, than feeding the people or providing medical care?

Ok, so we left the museum and started up the hill. By hill I mean one of the several hills that surrounds the city of Addis Ababa and supposedly provides a great view. Prior to getting there, we stopped at a weavers shop to watch workers weaving some of the fantastic patterns. We took some pictures and some of our group bought a couple of items. After the weaving shop, our next stop was another museum, (which was rather uninteresting, so much so I am not even going to describe it) the outside of an Ethiopian Orthodox Church and the first palace of Emperor Haile Sellasie. The palace was very basic, but it was obvious that at the time it would have much better than anything else around, plus it was on a hill. It was from this location that Sellasie’s wife picked out the spot of the real palace, which is very grand and opulent, although we didn’t see this one.



We left this area and finally drove up the top of the hill. We paid our entrance fee, not surprising here to have pay to get to see something, even if it is only a view. Lori impressed some Koreans that were also up there by saying hello in Korean and we took some photos of the city and a group shot. Since there is nothing else there, we left and went to find the coffee shop to buy some coffee. At the coffee shop, of course Lori and I got coffee from the Sidamo region of Ethiopia…the very same region where Sela is from. We got 3 pounds of washed coffee, un-ground, so we will have to acquire a grinder to brew it. After the coffee shop, we finally headed back to Horizon House. While there, Lori and I decided to take Sela “home” with us that night.

At the hotel, everyone was very happy to see our new daughter. Everyone smiled at her and tried to tickle her. She is not very ticklish, so this did not work so well, but everyone still loved her. The girls on the 12th floor thought she was especially cute and spent quite a bit of time holding her.

The night was interesting, Sela still wakes up every 2-3 hours for food, but we made it through ok. The sleeper we brought was too hot for Ethiopia, so at one point we changed her out of that and into a onesie. Other than those two things, we slept ok for our first night together.

Day 8 - The Embassy

Ethiopia Trip – Day 8

The Embassy

Yesterday was our scheduled trip to the US Embassy. After we ate breakfast we waited for the driver, Mulat, to come collect us and our gear and take us to Horizon House. He also took all of the donations our dear friends sent with us. We had one VERY full suitcase and 7 cans of powdered formula. Thank you to everyone for such generocity.

We spent more time with Sela and then Brian went to the main guest house to finish filling out our paperwork. I played with Sela a bit more and then decided to join him. When I walked in, Brian told me of the HUGE coincidence in our family group. Turns out that one of the adoptive mothers is the former wife of one of the men who started the company Brian used to work for. What are the chances?!?!

So, everyone worked to finish paperwork and then we ate a fabulous lunch prepared by the cook at Horizon House. Then we were off to the Embassy.

We all crammed into two vehicles, children and all. There are no baby car seats here. As a concerned parent you just have to realize that this is the way it is done here and hold on tight! Sela had a bottle and then fell asleep on the way over. Once we got there, we had to sit outside and wait our turn to even go inside. Finally, we got to go through security and head up to wait some more. The place we waited was hot and crowded, but only crowed by seats – they wouldn’t let anyone stand.

While waiting to be called, I met a nice gentleman from Chicago. He is originally from Ethiopia, then married a girl from the U.S. He was there adopting their second baby from Ethiopia. He was very nice. Finally we were called up to the window. We had to answer a bunch of questions about our daughter’s background and how she seemed to be interacting and we were done. The paperwork was given to a representative from the orphanage so he can finish getting the visas, but for all intents and purposes, we are done. Oh, in case you were wondering, we are not allowed to bring any electronics into the Embassy, so we couldn’t take any pictures.

We headed back outside to wait for the rest of our group to finish, got back into the van and the driver dropped the three of us off at the hotel. Sela spent most of the rest of the afternoon sleeping and Brian and I played on the internet. It was great – finally starting to feel totally real.

We were collected around 7:30 to go to dinner. Brian had to go back up to the room to get something one of us forgot, so I just sat and watched people come and go. (The driver hadn’t arrived just yet, either.) While I was waiting a man came out of the hotel. His hair was pretty wild, he had on a striped button-up shirt, jeans and low-top Converse shoes (Brian says they are Chuck Taylors, but that means nothing to me!). I had NO idea who he was, but he just LOOKED like someone famous, like a rock star. I didn’t think too much more about it and didn’t even tell Brian at that point.

The driver (Solomon) and Brian both finally go there and went to drop Sela with the nanny and join the other families. We all piled into the vehicles again and headed to dinner. The place that we went is much like the orphanage – a beautiful place situated behind a gate in a neighborhood you would NEVER guess housed such a place. It seemed like it was in a back-alley slum, but turned into this terrific spot.

Remember when I said I didn’t tell Brian at the time about my “rock star” sighting? Well, the guy was at this restaurant!! Turns out he was actually on a flight with two of the families and someone ELSE on their flight thought he was Keith Richards of The Rolling Stones. Well, someone in our group (I am not going to name names, Brian) thought he was Nikki Sixx and someone else thought he was Ron Wood. After Brian and I returned to the hotel that night, we looked up both and pretty much decided that he is Ron Wood, bassist for The Rolling Stones. But, we can neither confirm nor deny that as we have not talked to him.

So, the dinner was a traditional dinner with tons of food – some of it spicy – that was brought out in huge round containers. While we ate there were dancers and musicians to entertain. Each of the dances had an outfit and style to represent the region of Ethiopia that it came from. The moves were absolutely impressive and athletic. At one point one of the singers went around to each table and tried to get someone at the table get up and dance with her. I tried to make my dancing friend, Soo-Jin, proud of me by getting up and doing my part. After the meal, we had STRONG Ethiopian coffee and headed back to the hotel. We made plan to go shopping the next day and said good night.

We have two more days (plus the flights) to tell you about, but we won’t have access to the internet to make any posts. We will do our best to complete our blog as soon as possible after we return.

Lori

Day 5, 6 & 7 - Uganda and the Journey to Awassa

Ethiopia Trip – Days 5, 6 & 7

First, I would like to warn you that this blog entry is going to be LONG. Not only have we been without the internet for approximately 3 days, but so very much has happened in those days that we have a lot of ground to cover. To help make this easy, I am going to try to separate by days, if not further by things we did. So, grab some popcorn, a mug of cocoa (or another favorite drink) and a comfy seat and sit back and enjoy.

Uganda to Addis Ababa – 13 January

We had intended to spend our last morning in Uganda doing some exploring and shopping in the city of Kampala, but were waylaid by having to write a letter. Before the internet went down at the hotel (just after we had posted the previous blog), we got an email letting us know that we were going to meet Sela’s birth family the very next day. Yup, nothing like letting us know at the last minute! Our bad for not having written the letter to the birth family sooner, but we didn’t, so that is what we did for a little bit in the morning. We had a little bit of time after we wrote the letter and we were in luck as far as shopping – there was a shopping mall just a 15 minute walk from the hotel!

Yes, a shopping mall. Honest to goodness. It had 4 floors and a food court and the Ugandan version of a Wal-Mart! Brian found some good Manchester United paraphernalia (football/soccer club in England for those not in the “know”), and we found a great shop for a few souvenirs from Uganda. It was a fun way to spend our last few hours.

The flight from Uganda to Addis was without much interest, EXCEPT for the gentleman I sat next to. This man is a Ugandan policeman serving time as a peacekeeper in Darfur. Just that was enough to humble me. He has been a policeman for 23 years and has a wife and children in Uganda – the youngest of the children is going to enter university next year. Talking to this man was extremely interesting. He said that things are getting better, but there is still so much yet to be done. The job that the policemen do is to protect the women so they can gather firewood and water without getting raped by other factions. However, they are also working to help the women to form councils of their own and to bring these women information and knowledge from the rest of the world – to teach them that women in the rest of the world are not required to live the way these women do. Apparently, the husbands do nothing in Darfur but wait for the women to take care of them. I shared with this man the analogy of men and women being two wings of a bird – that the wings have to work together and be equal or the bird cannot fly. He smiled! The other part of this man’s job that gave me so much respect for he and his fellows is that they only get to go home once every 3 months – and then they have to pay for their own way home. What a sacrifice. He did say with the UN coming in that they will have flights to Uganda that they can utilize, BUT the coming of the UN could also mean they have to stay even longer in the area. As it is, this particular gentleman is scheduled to remain in Darfur until October. I don’t know his name, but those peacekeepers deserve our respect and prayers.

Upon arriving at the airport in Addis, we met another interesting person. Again, I am horrible at remembering names, but this young lady (in her early 20s) is as fair as I am and very petite. She is from Santa Fe and traveling in Africa, just to travel in Africa. She had spent some time in Uganda and met a nice woman who is going to put her up her in Addis for a while. The girl is spending 6 weeks here – by herself and with no real plan. That really amazes me. Both that a single young woman has the chutzpah to travel alone in a foreign land, but that she is doing it without a plan. Wow.

We made it to our hotel around 10 and were pleased to receive a phone call from the guy who is the right-hand man at the orphanage. Seems, a driver was going to pick us up at the dreary hour of 6:30! Ugh. We spent some time packing for the two day trip we would embark on the very next day. No rest for the wicked or the weary!!

Addis to Awassa – 14 January

The driver was VERY prompt in picking us up. A very nice young man named Solomon. He took us directly to the orphanage to meet our daughter for the very first time.

For those of you who aren’t parents, there is just no describing the feeling of seeing your child for the first time. I wish I could share it with you. Just know it is wonderful.

We took a few pictures with the Polaroid camera they have – a few pictures for the nannies to keep, but a few to put in our picture book we put together for the birth family. Sela is in a room with about 7 other 6-12 month-olds. They are all amazing. We got to play with a few of them while we sat with Sela. Way too cool.

And then we were off. We traveled with Thom, a dad from New York. His wife and 3 ½ year old daughter stayed home and are waiting anxiously for the return of Dad and their new baby sister. Thom’s a pretty cool guy. The same driver that picked us up was the one to drive is to Awassa. The drive to Awassa itself wasn’t too bad – about 4 hours.

This is a good enough time as any to share with you one of the funnier parts of driving in Africa, at least both in Uganda and Ethiopia. There is a plethora of farm animals on the road. Literally. There are goats munching grass on the sides, cows, donkeys, a few camels and dogs. But they don’t stay on the sides of the road. And at times, they will be in the middle of the road just staring at the vehicle like “What? You want me to move?!” We got some good giggles out of it. It isn’t that farm animals are funny; it is just that we are SO conditioned to see all animals either in fenced areas or tied up. Some of the animals were simply wandering – no attendant in sight.

On the way to Awassa, we did catch sight of a few baboons, too. Right next to the road, crossing the road, completely unconcerned about cars and people.

Once we got to Awassa we thought our trip was nearly completed. We were in for a rude shock. We went to meet Thom’s birth family first. The road was less than perfectly paved or groomed. Still not terrible, though. The family met us at a place that is “no less than 15 kilometers” from their home. The social worker we picked up in Awassa told us that the family had walked to meet Thom. The house we met in was a “nice” house – concrete and relatively clean. With maybe three things on the walls – small things, one wooden table, a few wooden benches and chairs. There were shelves in one area, but they were completely bare. The birth family was there, but we also had many spectators, too. Some of them were additional family, but not all of them. Outside the house was a small crowd of children who seemed enthralled with us – the light skin and, I think, my crazy hair. They just smiled and stared. It was kind of embarrassing to be the center of so much attention.

When this meeting concluded, we were told we were headed back to Awassa to meet Sela’s birth family. We THOUGHT this meant we were going to be back in the city itself. We were mistaken. We turned off the paved road a bit before we reached the city. And traveled for about 30 minutes on a VERY rough dirt road. We didn’t see another motorized vehicle the entire time. We got to one point and the social worker had to ask where to go. The gentleman that he asked agreed to ride his bike to show us how to continue. We then turned off the dirt road onto a trail, for lack of a better word. I don’t know that I have ever been so jostled in a vehicle before. We went like that for about 10-15 minutes before we reached the path to the home. Then we had to get out and walk the rest of the way.

You can maybe imagine that Brian and I were just a bit nervous of this meeting. We didn’t know what to write in the letter, we didn’t know which pictures to give them, we had no idea how they would react to us. Would they be upset and regret their decision? The walk was good for helping me to calm a bit. We passed Sela’s mom’s grave. The social worker said that the people like to bury the family near where they lived. It was SO peaceful on the walk. There were no city sounds, no motorized sounds. Just the breeze and birds. Good meditative atmosphere.

Brian here – I just wanted to also say a few words about our walk. For those of you who have been to Haifa, specifically to The Shrine of Baha’u’llah in Bahji and the walk down the path, this was the closest I have felt to that. This is not to say the path we walked was straight, or holy, or well kept, but I was just as full of trepidation as I was in Bahji. I did not know what I was walking into and I spent much of the trip in quiet thought.

Lori back – The clearing we stopped in was really beautiful. So peaceful, neatly kept, mountains on one side, clear blue skies above. The family brought out a bench and seats into a shaded area so we could all sit. Two uncles and three siblings were there and one man, who we believe to be a friend of the family who is able to read and speak English. The social worker looked at our letter and lamented it was too long. Leave it to us to be too verbose!! The friend was given the task of actually translating it at a later time. We then showed them our picture book. They really liked the picture we took of Brian, Brendan and myself on the day Brendan came home. They also thought the two baby pictures of Brian and I were pretty funny and they seemed impressed by the picture of Brendan, Brian, his mom and grandmother. 4 generations in one picture. They also were impressed with my Dad and thought he looked strong. Then we got the chance to ask some questions.



It seems Selamawit was a fat baby and was named “peaceful” because at the time of her birth the family and the home and the area were at peace. Her father was younger than the two uncles we met, but looked much like the younger of those two (he is in the red shirt in the picture). The mother was from far away, but we weren’t told what that meant. She was a housewife, and from what the social worker said and the way the family talked about her, she seemed very much loved by the family and the neighbors. The social worker actually came to collect Sela very shortly after her mother died and everyone was still “sharing their sorrows.” He said the neighbors tried to convince the uncle not to let the baby go, but he knew something of the adoption process. Meaning, he knew he was giving her over to people who could give her what he could not. Having someone place THAT kind of trust in you, even if they didn’t know it would specifically Brian and I, is about the most humble I have ever felt.

We took some pictures of the surrounding area, the house (Sela was actually born there – and it is a cement house, not the mud or grass style), and the family. It was hard to leave. We also took a picture of the mother’s grave on our walk back to the car. I did pretty good to not cry very much. Thom described it very well when he said you are in a state of some shock after a meeting like that.

We then took the grueling drive back to Awassa and went to our hotel. It is on beautiful grounds – covered with trees and flowering bushes. It is really close to Lake Awassa, but we couldn’t see or get to it because of a government fence. We ate dinner, and tried to stay awake long enough that it was late enough to go to bed. We weren’t really keen on the accommodations, but the bed was actually more comfortable that we thought it would be and we slept better than we expected. The shower the next morning was only luke-warm, and only for a very short time!

Awassa to Addis – 15 January

While we were waiting for our driver to come collect us, the three of us walked around the grounds of the hotel. There were Colobus monkeys hanging out in the trees right above the rooms we stayed in. They had created quite a cacophony fairly early in the morning as they played and chased one another right outside of our bedroom windows. We got some great shots of these guys.

Our driver picked us up and asked if we made it to the lake. When we said no, he took us to a local fish market. People went out to fish and brought them to the shores to be purchased right away. Talk about fresh! There was a slight fishy aroma, but it isn’t nearly as pungent as I had expected. There are some very persistent sales boys here, too! They carry around cut up fish bits that they offer to throw to these birds so they will get close enough you can take some great pictures. And they followed us the entire time we were there! We walked up to a vantage point where we took pictures of this Rift Valley lake. Then we walked to an area where other industrious young men use bread to entice monkeys out of trees. Brian and I both fed the monkeys – they take the bread right out of your hand. I normally don’t advocate feeding wildlife and maybe it isn’t the most sanitary or safe thing to do, but I just couldn’t resist this time. It was really neat! The monkeys are still wild enough to be shy and take some coaxing, but used to people enough they just come right up to get that bread. After this we headed out again.


I want to make another aside at this point. I am an animal lover. Brian is too. It has been VERY hard for me to deal with the condition of some of these animals. I have had to concentrate at “not seeing” some things. I took a few pictures, but could only handle so many. Yes, it is distressing to see people in such dire straights, but animals have always seemed more helpless. At the same time, if you only have enough means to care for either your family or your animal, family will and should win out every time. It is the reality of the situation. This whole subject – the conditions in which we saw people and animals – could cause me to talk for days, so let me stop myself here and now.

A little ways outside of Awassa we stopped at a national park. This national park surrounds two lakes in this region. Both are salt water and part of the Rift Valley. One of them has been calculated to have more water than any other in Ethiopia. We saw flamingoes, gazelles, the shadows of some very fast warthogs, and ostriches. We also took some amazing pictures of the landscape. It is amazing to me that people have lived here and survived here for thousands of years. I wouldn’t last two days. These people have my deep respect.

After that side trip, we headed back to Addis. The three of us passengers all ended up sleeping. Once back in Addis, we got to spend some more time with Sela before she took a nap and we headed back to the hotel. We were just exhausted emotionally and physically. Needless to say we slept pretty well!

Today we are going to the US Embassy. Our driver should be calling soon. It will be another busy day, so look back here for the next entry!